I think I have found the one who will last longer then the anticipated time.

The one who makes my heart jump and beat harder every time I think of him.

I am sure of my happiness. I am! ........... Well, I "think" I am.

I question the fact if he will fill me with unbareable passion, and light.

When I am with him there are no questions,............. well questions that are not asked.

There is a "relationship".....................but a relationship that is not fully labeled.

sooo...

Did I really find the one?

Does my heart really jump and beat harder every time I think of him -- or every time I think of the "IDEA" of him?

sooo...

Am I really Happy?

My fear is that you will be blinded by a lie that seems so true and that your life is no longer living because a man of perfection took it away from you.

My fear is that you will be your own destruction. You, your self will tear your heart, mind and body apart. You will end your own life.

My fear is that your written words will come true and you will be the blame for the breathless days that will come to extinction.

My fear is that death will come sooner then its suppose to, and many will be lost in their tears and in their thoughts.

My fear is that you'll forget the moments that created the days of your life.

My fear is that I wont get the chance to say Goodbye.

Sittin here with a blank expression. Completely lost and mesmorized by my thoughts stampeding through my head.

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Anger. Relief. Sadness. Confusion. Enlightment.

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All running through my head. Figuring out which moment i should cateorgorize in each emotion.

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I picture myself dancing because im free. Free of myself. I have willinling done something to myself that i am not aware of.

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I see myself running away from the invisble feeling i cannot not see and cannot describe. Im not scared im just running to an unknown place where the flowers always smile, and the music always sings.

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and then,

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I stand in the wind and listen to the words that will tell me tomarrow while it runs its breath through my hair and through my skin.

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You always pre judge some one before meeting them and when you do start to get to know him you see him differently, you start to like him, gain feelings for someone who might not even like you back or you're unsure of how they may feel for you. So you start looking at them, watching them, realizing them, getting to know their good and bad buttons, their diffrent smiles. Then you watch him when hes with others girls and you realize that really you're not that special or just as good or just as low or just as ne other girl he has ever known. Then a heart is broken, hope can be lost and the only thing that remains is the future.

Dear Life,

Hold on! Don't go running from what is ment to be. I became somebody from all that you gave to me, the good and the bad, the love and the hate. I've learned that sometimes theres a fork in a road but both ways are right. One way may be harder than the other but some how I will end at the same place at the right time. Life, I want to thank you for all the tears, pain, hate, joy, and love you gave me. Without the bad i would never know what good was and without the good i would never know what life meant... 

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